YES I KNOW IT’S LATE! DON’T RUB IT IN!
Disclaimer: What you are reading is a condensed version of the events decribed in the manifesto/autobiography, My Twisted World. Certain names have been removed to protect the identities of those people. Reader Discretion is Advised.
Let’s be completely honest here: Elliot Rodger was an asshole.
After listening to his manifesto audiobook (as read by Mumkey Jones, via MumkeyJones.com, where you can listen to it yourself for the low, low price of absolutely free) a number of times, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things that, well, is extremely idiotic and spoiled. To his demand of a girlfriend, to his lack of friends in his later years, Elliot’s life was a myriad of unfortunate events. I’m going to recount them for you, here today, on the anniversary of his massacre.
Now let me make this perfectly clear in case someone tries to use this article out of context: I AM IN NO WAY COMMENDING WHAT ELLIOT RODGER DID. The six people that he had killed and multiple people he had injured was one of the most reprehensible things to happen in Isla Vista that I know of. The fact that their murders will go unresolved without justice is possibly one of the worst things about this.
Elliot’s childhood up until he was thirteen was fairly normal. Minus the whole moving around the world aspect, his parents ended up divorcing, his father remarried, he had gotten into WoW, had a group of friends he would play with, and things generally were looking up for the young Eurasian lad, as said by one man:
“…one of the party guests, a boisterous middle-aged man who I can’t recall the name of. Father and Soumaya were talking about how I just turned ten years old, and we discussed life and what the future had in store for me. This man we were talking to… he patted me on the back and told me that I have a great life ahead of me. With a grin on his face, he told me that “in the next ten years, you’ll have a great time… a great time”. I had no idea what he meant by that. I wasn’t even thinking about my future at that point; I was living in the moment.”My Twisted World, page 20
But, let’s begin this tale where it all went wrong: his teenage years!
When Elliot was 13, he had lost all his friends, except for James, which he primarily communicated with over Xbox Live, anytime else, he would be in the World of Warcraft, constantly leveling up his character, and throwing away his social life, electing to be the “Weird Kid” at Pinecrest.
Now, I’ve been the weird kid in my school up to High School, and let me tell you from experience: That shit follows you until you get to college. Then you can be who you want to be, since nobody there knows you.
“At father’s house, I was forced to change my bedroom to the downstairs room that Tracy once occupied. My old bedroom was to be given to my baby brother… Soumaya was due to give birth to him very soon. I was quite annoyed at this. That room was the room that made me so enthusiastic about moving to that house. Father and Soumaya thought moving me was the best solution. The new baby would get a room close to them, and I would have the much bigger downstairs room.”My Twisted World, page 41
Now, this is where Elliot’s entitlement comes into play. While he DID accept the new room, remember the fact that he wanted the room he originally had, and when he was told that he wasn’t getting it, he threw a massive temper tantrum because he wanted that room, and he eventually got it, but only because he cried, bitched, and moaned that he wanted it so badly.
My experience during Middle School really darkened my view of the world, and it would only get darker from then on, as I suffered more and more. The way I was treated by girls at this time, especially by that evil bitch [redacted], sparked an intense fear of girls. The funny part of this is that I had a secret crush on [redacted]. She was the first girl I ever had a crush on, and I never admitted it to anyone. To be teased and ridiculed by the girl I had a crush on wounded me deeply. The world that I grew up thinking was bright and blissful was all over. I was living in a depraved world, and I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to give any thought to it. That is why I immersed myself entirely into my online games like World of Warcraft. I felt safe there.My Twisted World, page 42
Now, this is I can kind of relate to, being a past victim of bullying throughout Middle and High School (ESPECIALLY High School), and slowly withdrew myself from the world into the internet. Now, while things got better for me in college (more on that later), Elliot just seemed to give up entirely pretty early on in life. He realized he didn’t have the power to live in this world, so he just kinda shut himself off from it. And plus, the girl he had a crush on, was probably crushing on him too, but he was too stupid to act on it, or awkward, because he was in Middle School, after all.
His obsession with WoW ended up consuming his entire life, to the point where he didn’t care about school, and to a larger extent, his future. What’s worse is, he had what he described as, “An intense fear of girls”, so much so that he asked his parents to send him to an All-Boys High school, which, after a tour, he was excited about. However, during his summer vacation, he was told last-minute, like, SUPER last minute that he was going to Morocco. Elliot was not pleased with this, as he stated here:
In just a week into my summer break, my mother told me that father and Soumaya were going to Morocco, and I would be forced to go with them. This news upset me tremendously. I then asked how long this trip would be, and I was told it would be eight weeks. EIGHT WEEKS?! I could not believe what I was hearing. I threw a big tantrum.
For one thing, I was never enthusiastic about Morocco. The country is very backwards, and that made me very uncomfortable. They didn’t even have the latest video games. And to be forced to go there for eight weeks? That would take up the entire summer and the first two weeks of high school. It was even longer than the last time we went, and I thought that was too long. I wouldn’t be able to play WoW at all for two whole months. The prospect devastated me. I begged my mother to not let me go, but father and Soumaya insisted on bringing me and Georgia, and my mother was probably looking forward to having two months without children to look after. The decision was made, the plans were set. TheyMy Twisted World, page 43-44
already had a plane ticket ready for me. I was going to Morocco. I bet they all knew I would protest against going, which is why they told me last minute.
I love how his biggest points against going to Morocco was the fact they didn’t have current-gen (at the time) video games, and the fact that he wasn’t going to play WoW. Plus, apparently, this whole trip was told to him last-minute, a common theme in his life (to him at least). Elliot’s father would also have to work for 4 weeks, so he would be stuck with Soumaya, his step-mother.
Ah, yes, I guess I should mention Soumaya, shouldn’t I? Elliot’s step-mother from his father, Elliot depicted Soumaya as an evil, vindictive woman who absolutely hated Elliot, and made his life miserable at every turn, when in reality, she probably just wanted him to be a normal member of society.
While in Morocco, Elliot wrote about how negative the trip was for him. He remarks about how his baby brother kept crying on the way there, Soumaya being upset for some reason, not riding in First Class, taking 3 planes to get to the destination, and catching a virus while there. But he did try to make the most of the situation, and make nice with the people there, such as a few people around his age. Soumaya even organized a party for Elliot, wherein she invited a bunch of her own friends, many of whom didn’t even know was his birthday… Huh.
Near the end of the trip, a friend of his showed him porn, and it was at this point, starting now, from this moment on, this would be the moment, starting now, of the genesis… of Elliot’s puberty.
So when Elliot got home from his ‘Hellish’ experience in Morocco, he hugged his mother, immediately asking if he can go play WoW. However, the next day, he would have to start High School, which terrified him. One, since he was the new kid, making him fresh meat for the upperclassmen, and two, he was intimidated by all the tall boys in his grade.
Now, I’m 5’8.5″. And Elliot was 5’9″ at the end of his life. And High School boys range from 5’3″ to 6’1″, from my own experience. Elliot cried, not wanting to get out of his father’s car, but manned up, and stepped into the building. There were a bunch of people that he tried to make friends with, but…
As I expected, I failed to make any new friends. I was so overwhelmed by the brutality of the world that I just didn’t care anymore. On the very first week, I had my first experience of true bullying, not just the teasing I had at Pinecrest. Some horrible Twelfth Graders saw me as a target because I looked like a ten year old and I was physically weak. They threw food at me during lunchtime and after school. It enraged me, but I was too scared to do anything about it. What kind of horrible, depraved people would poke fun at a boy younger than them who has just entered high school? I thought to myself.
After the first few weeks of high school, I concluded that my time at Crespi would not be pleasant at all. I withdrew further into the World of Warcraft, neglecting my homework and spending all of my free time playing it.My Twisted World, page 45
Now, coming from someone who HATED High School for most of the same reasons that Elliot did, the only difference is that I could have given up, and just stopped every aspect of my life entirely. But I didn’t. Elliot did, and he ended up worse off for it.
This ended up going on for a while, before Elliot ended up completely finishing his first year of High School, after an incident with a boy, who had apparently recorded a voiceover of him and his girlfriend having sex (What?), leading to his mother picking him up from the principal’s office.
How he wind up in the Principal’s office, tho? Are we missing some information?
However, his parents told him that he would have to go to a different High School, along with the fact that he would have to take summer classes to make up the classes he had failed.
This was a problem for Elliot for many reasons. One, the school was bigger than his last. Secondly, the school that he was going to had girls in it, and he, as he described before, he was afraid of girls. And third, according to him, it had a ‘bad reputation’. I mean, it just was only the same High School that Ice Cube went to, so take that for what you will.
So Tenth Grade begins for Elliot, and it was hell on Earth for him. He describes:
The first week of Taft was living hell. I was bullied several times, even though I didn’t know anyone there. After being so used to wearing a polo shirt with khaki pants as a school uniform at private schools, I continued to dress like that even after leaving Crespi. I didn’t give any thought to how nerdy I looked. I was too withdrawn, like a turtle tucked into his shell. I was still in the process of going through puberty at the time, so I still looked and sounded like a ten-year-old. Such a persona attracted zero attention from girls, of course, but it did attract bullies like moths to a flame.My Twisted World, page 48
I hated my 10th Grade year, but that’s a completely different story for another time, but it seems that Elliot lacked the mental fortitude to stick it out for the rest of the year. Hell, he didn’t have the fortitude to last more than a WEEK! He broke down in front of his parents, who pulled him out of school for an entire MONTH. A MONTH. A FUCKING MONTH. Okay.
From there, Elliot would go to a sort of independent High School, in which he would go to class for 3 hours at a time, and come back and play WoW at home.
10th Grade came and went for Elliot, and that summer, he did something that no one ever expected: He helped out someone other than himself. At a party where he and his family went to, he saved his little brother, who was left unattended for some reason, fell into a pool.
He had already learned how to walk, but he couldn’t swim. At one instance as I was eating lunch, I saw Jazz quickly run off from the adults, completely unattended. I then watched as he curiously examined the water, and then descended into steps of the shallow end of the pool. Before long, he lost his footing on the steps and his whole body sank into the water. Nobody noticed. He was going to drown, I thought with panic. I ran as fast as I could, plunging into the water with my clothes still on, and pulled him out. I asked him how he was doing, and he coughed up some water and told me he felt fine. The only person who saw this happen was a little girl who was swimming in the shallow end. I saved his life, and my brother remembers it to this very day. Every single second of my brother’s life, everything that happens to him in the future, will exist because I pulled him out of the water that day.My Twisted World, page 51
This is telling, because, up to this point, Elliot only ever thought of himself, but in that one, brief moment, he saved his brother from a tragic, watery death. It was weird how he said, “HE IS ALIVE BECAUSE OF ME! REEE!!!”, but other than that, it is probably one of the few, if only, genuine nice things that he had done for his little (half-)brother, or anyone, for that matter. But it kind of takes the whole genuineness away when he says… that stuff.
In his 17th Year, he ended up finishing High School early, and ended up using most of his free time not playing WoW to walk around his father’s neighborhood, brooding, and looking for someone to possibly become his girlfriend. And when he came back from these walks, he would be angry, and upset that walking around and saying nothing to anyone got him nothing.
Taking note of this, Elliot’s parents informed him that they were going to send him to Morocco with Soumaya for an indefinite amount of time. Elliot was upset by this, but it didn’t matter. His parents were going to put him on the plane, one way or another. On the day of the trip, Elliot bolted out the door, trying to escape to his mother’s house, but his father had caught him, and they sent him on his way to Morocco.
The plan failed. I was going to Morocco.My Twisted World, page 58
When he got there, he cried for hours and hours on end even in front of Soumaya’s family. He then began email his mother, begging her take him home, at one point, EVEN THREATENING SUICIDE if she didn’t come get him. After about a week of this, Elliot’s mother eventually caved in, so flew out there, picking up her son to take him home.
I won. I was going home.My Twisted World, page 58
Elliot was relieved to be back home, since he proclaimed that his fight against the popular kids and all of society was in the US, not in Morocco. He then resumed to fight by doing absolutely nothing. He resumed his walks, not doing a damned thing when people came near him, and was surprised when returned home with nothing. His lonely life resumed, and he didn’t realize why he was lonely, since he made no effort to reach out to anyone.
This all came to a head at one point, where:
[…]on one of the days that I walked to the Calabasas Commons, I treaded through the area with my head down, all alone, in a state of complete despair about my life. I looked around me and saw lots of young couples holding hands and groups of good looking teenage boys and girls walking together and having fun on their Saturday night out. I saw all of those teenagers enjoying their pleasurable lives together, while I was all alone. They were enjoying everything I couldn’t have. I was filled with intense anguish, and I quickly ran all the way back to father’s house with tears pouring down my cheeks. Once I got home I had a breakdown and cried for hours and hours into the night.My Twisted World, page 59
Following this mental breakdown, Elliot made a renewed effort to change. He got a haircut, a change of new clothes, started to work out by lifting, and gained a new feeling of hope. He reached out to some old friends on Facebook, and enrolled into college. Of course, he did all these things to attract girls, and get a circle of popular friends, but hey, it was a start. While meeting his friends, he one day discovered the lottery, which he had apparently never heard of before he had turned 18. This is important for later, so hold on to your hats.
At father’s house, we watched the movie Alpha Dog after dinner one night. This movie depicts a lot of teenagers and young people partying and having sex with beautiful girls, living the life that I’ve desired for so long. The main character is a fifteen year old kid who has sex with two hot girls in a swimming pool. I was so envious that I delighted in his death at the end. I remember thinking that I would rather live his life than mine, even though he died. He had sex and I didn’t. The movie deeply affected me emotionally, and I would think about it for some time afterwards.My Twisted World, page 61
…He really missed the point of that movie. Remember this as well, because it’s also important for later.
When Soumaya returned home, and she was PISSED that Elliot acted the way that he did on the trip to Morocco, resulting with her kicking Elliot out of her and his father’s house. And as suspected, Elliot was not happy about this AT ALL.
Not only did she kick me out of father’s house, but she forbade me to go there even for a short visit. And still, father didn’t do anything about it. Father kept saying that the house is her house as much as his, and that she has the right to kick me out. No! I am the eldest son! The house should be MY house before hers! This caused any respect I still had for my father to fade away completely. It was such a betrayal, to put his second wife before his eldest son. What kind of father would do that? The bitch must be really good to him in bed, I figured. What a weak man.My Twisted World, page 62
Now, this interesting. Soumaya had every single reason to kick Elliot out of his father’s house, seeing as how he went out of his way to sabotage the trip to Morocco, and tried to escape on the day of the trip. Elliot was completely in the wrong in that situation. He made his bed, so now he had to lie in it.
After going to college, he became frustrated that he wasn’t getting any friends out of the experience. He tried to remain positive, but old habits die hard.
Around this same time, his mother began to date a wealthy man. Elliot, excited at the prospect of the fact that he could possibly be rich by his mother, he asked his mother to marry that man, for his own sake. Predictably, she refused. I don’t know why he wanted to get rich, it’s not like he was middle-class or anything.
On an outing with one of his friends, he noticed that, since one of his friends began hanging with the popular kids, he began acting arrogant towards Elliot, which pissed him off. Said friend later ditched him to go to a party with some girls. This affected him deeply, as he might say.
After that last experience with [REDACTED], my attitude changed. My newfound optimism about life subsided, and I began feeling intense anger and hatred towards the world again. The way [REDACTED] treated me made me realize what the world thinks of me. If I was one of those popular kids, [REDACTED] would have treated me with deference and respect, but I wasn’t. I was a complete loser in his eyes, and everyone else’s. No effort I made in the last few months changed the way the world saw me. The world still viewed me as a weak and undesirable loser, even though I changed my wardrobe and started working out. What was the point anymore? I asked myself. I couldn’t help but feel anger and hatred. Life was too unfair to me.My Twisted World, page 64
So there you go, all the change that Elliot had made in the past… 3? I’ll say 3. 3 months ended up doing absolutely nothing for him, in his eyes, because of the fact that he was ditched by one friend, and that meant the world viewed him as a loser. I guess. Oh, that and he didn’t have a girlfriend.
Man, it’s almost like women don’t go for desperate guys.
His time at his college ended up getting him nothing, so he ended up dropping his classes. This did not fare well with his mother, who up to this point, has been coddling her son, because after he explained his situation to her, she urged him to get a job. He said he would, and then, he couldn’t find a job for him, because all the jobs available were ‘beneath him’.
So, he began to hang out at his local Barnes and Noble, all dressed up in nice clothes, hoping a woman would talk to him.
No one did.
But also at this time, he would begin reading about powerful men in history, since at this point, he was becoming so radical, and he wanted to rise to power and become a dictator, a la Adolf Hitler, or Joseph Stalin. In the 2000’s. In a country literally called ‘The Land of the Free’.
His father set him up with a job with one of his friends, in which he was building a staircase in a house. He accepted, since it wasn’t “lowly construction work”, it was “assisting a friend”. Okay. But this job would end up causing a major incident, one which would change his perception of his father forever.
On my last day working for [REDACTED], I decided to stop by at father’s house to have a drink. I was quite parched from the bicycle ride. I entered the house without knocking because I believed I had the right to. As the eldest son, the house should be my house after my father. Soumaya was surprised to see me, and she got angry that I didn’t knock. To teach me a lesson, she ordered me to go back outside and knock. I refused, telling her that she has no right to order me around anymore. I then helped myself to a glass of water. Soumaya knocked the glass of water out of my hand and it shattered on the floor. Father clamored angrily up the stairs from his office demanding to know what was going on. The three of us had a heated argument, and of course father took Soumaya’s side. They both kicked me out of the house, telling me that I’m not to return. I felt betrayed and humiliated as I furiously made my way back to mother’s house. At that very moment, I hated both of them, and I wouldn’t see either of them for many months. For those months, my father was dead to me. My mother was all I had left in this bleak world.My Twisted World, page 67
Well, in this situation, EVERYONE was in the wrong here. Elliot was in the wrong for entering a house completely unannounced, and Soumaya was in the wrong for overreacting the way that she had. Sure, she had a point, but to shatter the cup like that is… wrong.
Then again, this is told from Elliot’s perspective, so…
A few days later…
I had a climactic meeting with [REDACTED], where my noxious feud with [REDACTED] reached a boiling point. We went on an outing to the Griffith Park Observatory, as we usually did when we got together. This time, my arguments with [REDACTED] were very intense. I tried to insult him as much as I could, in a petty attempt to get revenge at him for all the insults and slights he dealt to me. We went back and forth at each other for the whole evening, to the chagrin of poor [REDACTED] who had to put up with it. By the end of the night, [REDACTED] said something to me that was so offensive it will haunt me forever, and it rang true:
“No girl in this whole world will ever want to fuck you.”
I already felt that no girl in the world wanted to fuck me. I was a kissless virgin after all. That was the sole reason why I was suffering. But to hear it come from someone else, someone like [REDACTED], really caused it to sink into core of my mentality and emotions.
That whole night made for a very vile and wicked experience. I decided not to see [REDACTED] for a long time.My Twisted World, page 68
Man, speaking as a guy who’s 21 and single, I try not to draw attention to the fact that I am single, but Elliot, his whole thing post-puberty was “I’M SINGLE, GIVE ME SEX!” So, what his friend said to him wasn’t completely wrong. All the things he did, all the things that went on in his life, he had done for the sole purpose of getting a girlfriend. And that’s desperate. Women like personality, which Elliot had one of the worst.
He transferred to a different college, and he had hope, that he could have a beautiful girlfriend. Did he get one? Well, does the Pope shit in his hat?
The breaking point was when I saw good looking couples walking along the area where I dreamed of walking with a girlfriend. To watch another boy experience it, with a beautiful girl who should be mine, was a living hell. I constantly asked myself what I did wrong in life, to be unable to have a beautiful girlfriend.
It was no better inside the classroom. There was this one obnoxious jock with a buzz-cut who was taking the class with his gorgeous girlfriend. They always sat next to each other, talking and touching each other with affection. Every day I had to see this, and my envy grew and grew. I constantly glared at them with raw hatred. What did I do wrong that he did right? I yelled out to the universe on the way home. Why does he deserve the love of a beautiful girl, and not me? Why do girls hate me so? Questions and questions. All I could do was question why I was suffering so much injustice in life.My Twisted World, page 69 (nice)
He later dropped that class. All because of that couple.
So, not long after that, his mother suggested he become a writer, seeing as how she felt he had a talent for writing. Elliot went along with this, and tried to write an epic fantasy novel, which would be made into a movie. He gave up on the idea, seeing as how, believe it or not, such things don’t happen that often. Even though his mother dated and was friends with GEORGE LUCAS. I repeat: GEORGE. FUCKING. LUCAS.
He got a job via his job coach, and he didn’t even last an entire day. Because the job was a custodial job.
I started a day of working at this new job. It was located in an office building that was connected to an Airport in Los Angeles. To my horror and humiliation, the job turned out to be a menial custodial job, and I had to clean offices and even the bathrooms. There was no way I would ever degrade myself to such a level. I felt like utter shit from even considering working at such a place. I only worked for a few hours while I thought about how to handle this foul situation… and on the next day I called to announce that I was quitting.
That was the second and last “job” I would ever have. I only worked there for less than a day .My Twisted World, page 70-71
Shitty cash is still cash.
After he turned 19, he began to hang out with James a lot more, since he could drive, and this meant that they could hang out and play WoW together.
He was my comrade in virginity, for he too didn’t get any attention from girls, and I’m sure he suffered from it, but not as much as I did. I was very perplexed as to why he didn’t feel any anger towards girls for denying him sex. He should be just as angry as I am. I supposed he didn’t have a very high sex drive, or he was just a generally weak person.
To be angry about the injustices one faces is a sign of strength. It is a sign that one has the will to fight back against those injustices, rather than bowing down and accepting it as fate. Both my friends James and [REDACTED] seem to be the weak, accepting type; whereas I am the fighter. I will never stand to be insulted, and I will eventually have my revenge against all those who insult me, no matter how long it takes.My Twisted World, page 71-72
I love how he keeps saying that he’s a “fighter”, yet he’s been doing BARELY any fighting throughout this whole book. Anytime else, he’s been crying, arguing with Soumaya, pining after girls without interacting with them, and playing WoW. Not much of the fighter, when you break it down like that, now is it?
Speaking of WoW, because people Elliot had hated invaded it, he decided to quit, seeing how they used “virgin” as an insult, which was not Kino. Plus, he viewed that WoW had been ruined by the then-new expansion pack, while not really going into why, because, and I quote: “The people reading this won’t understand complicated Video Game terms”. Mind you, this is the exact same person who went into detail about his first masturbation, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Game of Thrones, and memorized the names of practically everyone in his life.
A few months later, Elliot, his parents, and the rest of his family devised the “Santa Barbara Plan”, in which Elliot would live and go to college in Santa Barbara in Isla Vista. Elliot describes it:
…It was all because I watched that movie Alpha Dog. The movie had a profound effect on me, because it depicted lots of good looking young people enjoying pleasurable sex lives. I thought about it for many months afterward, and I constantly read about the story online. I found out that it took place in Santa Barbara, which prompted me to read about college life in Santa Barbara. I found out about Isla Vista, the small town adjacent to UCSB where all of the college students live and have parties. When I found out about all this, I had the desperate hope that if I moved to that town I would be able to live that life too. That was the life I wanted. A life of pleasure and sex. I talked to my mother about the prospect of going to college in Santa Barbara a few times during my eighteenth year. She thought it was a good idea; it would certainly free her of the burden of living with me, but we never seriously considered it. Until that day.
My mother proposed the plan to father, and father became very enthusiastic about it. We laid down the groundwork right then and there. Father was still suffering from his financial crisis, but he agreed to pay for my tuition and contribute five hundred dollars a month towards my living expenses, while my mother would pay for my apartment rent and continue to provide me with the car. I was to do one more semester at Moorpark for the time being, and then transfer to Santa Barbara City College in the summer.My Twisted World, page 77
This, truly, would be the beginning of the end, all because he had missed the point of that movie.
Before he transferred, he had a few more classes to take, but he ended up dropping one, because he had the view of a blonde girl and her (assumed) boyfriend, leaving in the middle of the session.
His father bought him a book called, The Secret, a book that, according to Elliot, focused on positive thinking, and the Law of Attraction. Rather than using these elements to attract a girl, or a group of friends, he tried to use these things to win the lottery, because, and these are his words, if he was rich, women would love him. I mean it’s true, but you shouldn’t just say it…
My faith was soon broken, as I bought a few Mega Millions Lottery tickets and visualized myself being the winner. I usually visualized it by meditating on the rooftop of my mother’s apartment right at the time of the drawing. A part of me knew it was impossible to will the universe to make me the winner just by wishing for it on a rooftop, but I was so desperate that I wanted to believe I could. I wanted to believe I had the POWER to do it. After failing to win when the jackpot reset because someone else won, I lost all faith in that book, and I almost ripped it apart in frustration.My Twisted World, page 79
…I’m shocked. Can’t you tell?
Because of an incident with a friend, Elliot’s only friend, James, refused to speak with him for some time. This incident stemmed from the fact that the friend had girls pay attention to him, and he didn’t like that.
After finishing his semester at his college, he moved to Santa Barbara, which started the beginning of the end of his life.
When he moved there, he got a house, and had to live with housemates, and he hated EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. They were either too fat, too Mexican, too Nerdy, or not able to get him into parties. But one of my favorite ones was this:
My two housemates were nice, but they kept inviting over this friend of theirs named Chance. He was [a] black boy who came over all the time, and I hated his cocksure attitude. Inevitably, a vile incident occurred between me and him. I was eating a meal in the kitchen when he came over and started bragging to my housemates about his success with girls. I couldn’t stand it, so I proceeded to ask them all if they were virgins. They all looked at me weirdly and said that they had lost their virginity long ago. I felt so inferior, as it reminded me of how much I have missed out in life. And then this black boy named Chance said that he lost his virginity when he was only thirteen! In addition, he said that the girl he lost his virginity to was a blonde white girl! I was so enraged that I almost splashed him with my orange juice. I indignantly told him that I did not believe him, and then I went to my room to cry. I cried and cried and cried, and then I called my mother and cried to her on the phone.
How could an inferior, ugly black boy be able to get a white girl and not me? I am beautiful, and I am half white myself. I am descended from British aristocracy. He is descended from slaves. I deserve it more. I tried not to believe his foul words, but they were already said, and it was hard to erase from my mind.If this is actually true, if this ugly black filth was able to have sex with a blonde white girl at the age of thirteen while I’ve had to suffer virginity all my life, then this just proves how ridiculous the female gender is. They would give themselves to this filthy scum, but they reject ME? The injustice!My Twisted World, page 84
Oh man… there is so much wrong with this, I have to break it down: One, you don’t just ask a guy about his sexual conquests out of the blue like that! That’s like me going up to a man and asking: How big is your di-
Secondly, Elliot BARELY KNEW THIS DUDE! This guy’s only crime, in Elliot’s warped, crazy mind, was sleeping with the blond girl when he was only 13. And plus, not speaking from experience, but having sex at a young age… really isn’t the best way to go about things. Hell, boys’ll fuck anything at that age! Even a cardboard cutout of a woman! N-Not that I would know about that…
And third, and this is the most important: GUYS LIE! We lie about our weight, our height, our dick sizes, waist sizes, and most of all, we lie about being virgins! Because of this stigma that the media has placed on sex, people are being urged to start making babies the second you hit adulthood! And if you stay a virgin your entire life, you’re a bonafide loser! I personally stopped giving a shit after High School, so I don’t really care if someone calls me a virgin. Do I want a Girlfriend? Fuck yes (2020 EDIT: Meh, not really, anymore.), but I don’t whine and do bullshit like this! I stopped whining when I stopped caring!
Now… WHERE THE HELL WAS I?!
A few months later, Elliot was at a local Starbucks, when a young couple walked in, and Elliot, being the petty person he was, followed the two, splashed some Pepsi on the couple, and ran off. He would later do this to a couple of girls who didn’t smile back at him at the bus stop, splashing them with lukewarm coffee, and again to a group of both men and women, all of whom were attractive, and Elliot made the trip to K-Mart (they still have those?), bought a NERF super soaker, and sprayed them with orange juice.
On the school front of things, he dropped his classes one after another. All because he wasn’t either making friends or that he was upset that women were in relationships with other men he viewed as undesirable.
He reconnected with James once more, and they went out for dinner together, hoping to reconnect a shattered friendship.
While we were eating, some high school kids walked in. James saw them first, and right when he saw them he said the words “We’re fucked”. James knew I would have trouble with them. They were popular boys who had a flock of pretty girls with them. One of them sat down with two of the girls, putting his leg up on another chair with a cocky smirk on his face. I was livid with rage, and I wanted to pour my drink all over his head. James knew exactly what I was planning to do; we had been through similar incidents before. He made a lot of effort to try to dissuade me from acting on my anger, pointing out that there was a security guard nearby. I did the only other thing I could do; I packed up my dinner and left the restaurant, fleeing in defeat and shame. James soon followed, and we decided to finish our meal at his house.
A dark and ominous aura clouded over our friendship that day. When the two of us got back to James’ house, I was still seething with rage. I didn’t understand why James wasn’t angry like me. The sight that we just witnessed was horrible to watch. To see another male be successful with females is torture for males like us who have no success with females. I was so angry that I told James of all of the acts of revenge I wanted to exact on those popular boys. I told him my desire to flay them alive, to strip the skins off their flesh and make them scream in agony as punishment for living a better life than me. James became deeply disturbed by my anger. I wished that he wasn’t disturbed. I wished he could be a friend that felt the same way about the world that I did. But he wasn’t that kind of person. He was a weakling.
Once I had calmed down, the two of us had a long conversation in his room, and I ended up crying in front of him as I explained how hopeless I felt about life. Soon after that, I left his house, never to return there again. He will never invite me over after that incident, and our friendship will slowly fade to dust.My Twisted World, page 91
Man, it sucks when your childhood friends go and turns on you, because he finds you and your rants scary. Maybe if Elliot was a bit more compassionate, and less of a dick, maybe he would be able to REIGN IN his radicalness, and stop himself before he says something he can’t take back.
But Elliot didn’t stop himself. He began to plan a plan to strike back against all women, a plan to make sure he would get his revenge.
But Elliot tried to find a way out of it, because he still wanted a way out. He didn’t want to become a murderer. So, he started playing the lottery. And cue Mumkey Jones!
In the middle of all of this chaos, Elliot and his Family got invited to the red carpet premiere of The Hunger Games, in which his father was an assistant director on.
[…]As we were lining up for our walk on the black carpet, some dumb bitch of a security guard had the audacity to question “who the hell are these people”. This made me so enraged that I almost said “we are people who are more important than you, you ugly cunt”, but Soumaya’s publicist calmly informed her of our invitation. We then proceeded to walk across the long black carpet as cameras flashed at us from one side, and a crowd of pathetic fans who reminded me of sheep cheered from the other side. I felt extremely gratified at walking on the black carpet with father and Soumaya, and I cockily smiled at all of the stupid fans who had to remain on the side, rubbing it right in their faces. There were some actors and celebrities on the carpet with us, and the paparazzi yelled at me a few times to get out of the way as they were taking pictures of some cunt actress. I discreetly gave those paparazzi pigs my middle finger. Elliot Rodger will not move aside for a stupid, good-for-nothing, over-glorified actress, whoever the fuck she was. I didn’t see.
We walked through all the chaos until we finally reached the theater where the movie was being screened, called the Nokia Theater. It was one of the biggest theaters I had ever seen, able to see hundreds of people. At the entrance, father and I greeted Jack Ross, the son of Gary Ross. He was a spoiled brat of a sixteen year old, and to my embarrassment he stood taller than me. I immediately hated him on sight. He was living the life I should be living, if only my father had become as successful a director as Gary Ross. I equally hated his repugnant friends, who ended up sitting in front of me and partially blocking my view for the entire movie. Throughout the whole film, I had to fight the urge not to splash my drink all over the little shitheads in a vehement rage. They spoiled it for me, and it was quite a good movie too.My Twisted World, page 102-103
So.. he gets into a red carpet premiere of The Hunger Games, and the only thing he can think is, “Fuck all these people! Rich, entitled cunts! Movie’s good, though!”
…Fuck this spoiled, entitled cunt.
Also, he talks about Alexander Ludwig (public figure, won’t censor his name.), sitting with a bunch of women, and having a ‘cocky smirk’ on his face, which he describes a lot of people having. I don’t think that word means what he thought it means.
After his failure to win the lottery, he pretty much stopped going to his classes, and was pretty much going to college to live away from his parents, and brood over the fact no woman eye-fucked him whenever he walked into a room. This ended up with him crying at the fact that he’s 21 years old, and still a virgin. He called his parents to complain to them, and they set him up with a therapist. But, Elliot, being the rational person that he was, began to buy handguns to set up for his own brand of therapy.
He started to go home a lot more, and began bonding with his 6-year old brother, Jazz, whom he saved from drowning so many years ago. However, Elliot realized something about his brother, something he didn’t realize before.
I realized how much different my brother Jazz was from me at that age. While I was shy, short, and physically weak; Jazz was tall for his age and very social. He had no problem going up to other boy sat the playground and making instant friends. I began to form a bitter envy towards him, though I hid it really well. My little brother had all the potential to grow up to be a popular kid and live the life I was never able to live. I cursed the world for granting my little brother Jazz so many more advantages than me. I tried not to let this ruin my relationship with him. My little brother really looked up to me. He was one of the few people who treated me with adoration, and that made me feel at least a small twinge of self-worth. It was quite surprising that he respected me so much, since I had nothing in my life to boast about to him. He even asked me once if I had ever had a girlfriend, and I angrily told him that the matter was none of his concern. I didn’t want to admit to him that girls thought I was a loser. If he found out about that, he would respect me less. In order to boost his high opinion of me, I often sugarcoated all of my early accomplishments, such as telling him that I was an expert skateboarder and video game player.My Twisted World, page 116
After losing two more of his friends, he came onto the site PUAHate.com, a site in which men complain about how they aren’t getting women, and how pick-up artists failed them. Elliot, not interacting with girls at all, signed onto the site, and talked about his desire to kill all women. They ate it up, fueling his delusions.
With this, Elliot decided his “Retribution” would take place in Isla Vista, but he didn’t have a date for the deed yet. He thought about Halloween, but too many cops would be around. He decided to set it on a normal party weekend in November.
But Elliot, looking for one final way out, tried to lose his virginity at least once before he turned 22. Two Days before his 22nd birthday, he tried to meet a girl at a party, and… well, cue Mumkey Jones! Again!
So after that experience, Elliot had surgery in his broken ankle, and he had to walk on crutches for the about a few months. Because of the incident, Elliot’s therapist advised him to leave Isla Vista ASAP, since he wasn’t going to classes, had no friends, had no job, and had just got a horrible injury that literally crippled him.
But Elliot, being the delusional person he is, decided to refuse. Because he wanted to exact “revenge” on his “enemies”.
But the triggers, at least what I think was the triggers, came at two separate times, the first was when he went to his father’s house, and Soumaya had some good news.
It started when she began to boast that my brother Jazz was recently signed by an agent to act in T.V. commercials. She said that by the time he is my age, he will be a successful actor. I talked about how Jazz was already so socially savvy for his age, and how I’ve always envied him for it. She told me he will never have any problems with girls, and will lose his virginity while he’s young. I had to sit there and listen to the bitch tell me that my little brother will grow up enjoying the life I’ve always craved for, but missed out on. It is very unfair how some boys are able to live such pleasurable lives while I never had any taste of it, and now it has been confirmed to me that my little brother will become one of them. He will become a popular kid who gets all the girls. Girls will love him. He will become one of my enemies.
That was the day that I decided I would have to kill him on the Day of Retribution. I will not allow the boy to surpass me at everything, to live the life I’ve always wanted. It’s not fair that he has the chance to have a pleasurable life while I’ve been denied it. It will be a hard thing to do, because I had really bonded with my little brother in the last year, and he respected and looked up to me. But I would have to do it. If I can’t live a pleasurable life, then neither will he! I will not let him put my legacy to shame.
In order to kill Jazz, I would have to kill Soumaya too, but that will be easy. All I would need to do is think about all of the hurtful things she had said to me in that past as I plunge my knife into her neck. But what if father is in the house to stop me? Would I have to kill him too?That would be too much. I remember, when I was a child, I had dreams about my father dying, and I woke up crying to my mother, in which she would comfort me and tell me that it was just a dream. How could my life have resorted to the point where I am the one to kill my own father? I felt sick to my stomach.
I concluded that I would have to set the Day of Retribution during a time when my father is out of the country, on one of his business trips. It would be too risky to try to kill him. I might hesitate at the last second.My Twisted World, page 127-128
One, I HIGHLY doubt the conversation with Soumaya went that way. Most likely, Soumaya was being a happy mother, and proud of her son, and Elliot made it all about himself once again, leading to her blowing up at Elliot, saying things she couldn’t take back.
Second, how fucked in the head must Elliot have been to have been jealous of and think about KILLING his younger brother? As someone who loves his family, and is angry at them occasionally, I can say, I WILL NEVER THINK ABOUT KILLING THE PEOPLE WHO ARE RELATED TO ME!
And the second trigger, and possibly the most hilarious, is when he found his sister had a boyfriend. Up until this point, Elliot’s sister, Georgia, had been mostly a background character mentioned in passing, and on certain occasions. Now that she had a boyfriend, Elliot, of course hated her for the sole purpose of having one.
I visited my mother’s house quite often in the Autumn. To my extreme rage, I discovered that my sister now had a boyfriend, and that she had lost her virginity. She had casually “dated” boys in the past, but never to the serious extent that she did with this one. This one was a half White, half Mexican named [REDACTED], and I immediately took an intense disliking to him when I was first introduced to him. He seemed like the typical obnoxious slob that most young girls are sexually attracted to. Georgia invited him to my mother’s house all the time, and it angered me to watch him lurking about, eating my mother’s food and drinks, and making use of my mother’s house. He was freeloading off my mother, and she didn’t even realize it.My Twisted World, page 129
Oh yeah, the BOYFRIEND is freeloading off of his mother! Because he’s the one who doesn’t have a job, drops all of his classes because he can’t stand the sight of people being in relationships, constantly cries about stupid shit to his parents, has money without earning it, and bugs his mother for laptop money whenever he needs a new one!
I eventually grew to hate him after I heard him having sex with my sister. I arrived at the house one day, my mother being at work, and heard the sounds of [REDACTED] plunging his penis into my sister’s vagina through her closed room door, along with my sister’s moans. I stood there and listened to it all. So my sister, who was four years younger than me, managed to lose her virginity before I did. It reminded me of how pathetic I was, that at the age of twenty-two, I was still a virgin. I hated her boyfriend as well. My sister said that he’s been with other girls before her, and I’m sure he lost his virginity at a much younger age. It is such an injustice. The slob doesn’t even have a car, and he is able to get girlfriends, while I drive a BMW and get no attention from any girls whatsoever.My Twisted World, page 129
This sick freak listened to his sister having sex?
First off, EW.
Second, WHO CARES if she loses her virginity before you, it’s not a damned race! (2020 EDIT: Yeah, so apparently, I did the math, and Georgia was 18 while Elliot was 22, so… get fucked. Pun not intended)
They decided to take my sister’s boyfriend, [REDACTED], to England with them, and upon hearing this, I became very infuriated. [REDACTED] was my enemy, someone who has enjoyed a happy life of sex while I have starved for years. And now my own mother was paying for his ticket to England, something he doesn’t deserve. I felt so betrayed by my mother because of this. She should have been more considerate for how I would feel. I am her son, and she should be on my side. But then again, my mother is a woman, and women are all mentally ill. There was no way she could possibly understand my point of view.My Twisted World, page 130
Oh yes, because the person who thinks about killing an 8-year old is the most mentally sane person on the planet. Also, I just think it’s poetic that Georgia’s boyfriend wound up replacing Elliot’s place in the family, as he sunk deeper and deeper.
These preceding events were the final trigger that pushed Elliot over the edge completely. Between his sister getting a boyfriend, and his brother becoming one of his “enemies” according to Soumaya, he decided to enact his Retribution.
In the weeks leading up to the dawn of the final day, Elliot put several videos on the internet, which I will not link here, but they were viewed as giving off a “serial-killer vibe”. These videos got the attention of his mother, who called the police out of worry. They did a welfare-check up on Elliot, who had several rounds of ammunition and handguns in his apartment, but he ended up convincing the officers nothing was wrong with him.
By Elliot taking the videos down, he shook off the officers. Now the time for Retribution was at hand. Elliot details his blueprint for the day here:
After going through every single fantasy I had about how I would punish my enemies, I started to detail all of my exact plans for how the Day of Retribution will play out.
On the day before the Day of Retribution, I will start the First Phase of my vengeance: Silently killing as many people as I can around Isla Vista by luring them into my apartment through some form of trickery. The first people I would have to kill are my two housemates, to secure the entire apartment for myself as my personal torture and killing chamber. After that, I will start luring people into my apartment, knock them out with a hammer, and slit their throats. I will torture some of the good looking people before I kill them, assuming that the good looking ones had the best sex lives. All of that pleasure they had in life, I will punish by bringing them pain and suffering. I have lived a life of pain and suffering, and it was time to bring that pain to people who actually deserve it. I will cut them, flay them, strip all the skin off their flesh, and pour boiling water all over them while they are still alive, as well as any other form of torture I could possibly think of. When they are dead, I will behead them and keep their heads in a bag, for their heads will play a major role in the final phase. This First Phase will represent my vengeance against all of the men who have had pleasurable sex lives while I’ve had to suffer. Things will be fair once I make them suffer as I did.I will finally even the score.
The Second Phase will take place on the Day of Retribution itself, just before the climactic massacre. The Second Phase will represent my War on Women. I will punish all females for the crime of depriving me of sex. They have starved me of sex for my entire youth, and gave that pleasure to other men. In doing so, they took many years of my life away. I cannot kill every single female on earth, but I can deliver a devastating blow that will shake all of them to the core of their wicked hearts. I will attack the very girls who represent everything I hate in the female gender: The hottest sorority of UCSB. After doing a lot of extensive research within the last year, I found out that the sorority with the most beautiful girls is Alpha Phi Sorority. I know exactly where their house is, and I’ve sat outside it in my car to stalk them many times. Alpha Phi sorority is full of hot, beautiful blonde girls; the kind of girls I’ve always desired but was never able to have because they all look down on me. They are all spoiled, heartless, wicked bitches. They think they are superior to me, and if I ever tried to ask one on a date, they would reject me cruelly. I will sneak into their house at around 9:00 p.m. on the Day of Retribution, just before all of the partying starts, and slaughter every single one of them with my guns and knives. If I have time, I will set their whole house on fire. Then we shall see who the superior one really is!
The Final Phase of the Day of Retribution will be my ultimate showdown in the streets of Isla Vista. On the morning before, I will drive down to my father’s house to kill my little brother, denying him of the chance to grow up to surpass me, along with my stepmother Soumaya, as she will be in the way. My father will be away on one of his business trips, so thankfully I won’t have to deal with him. If he didn’t go away on that trip, I might even have to postpone the whole plan because of my fear that I might hesitate if I have to kill him. Once I’ve taken care of my brother and stepmother, I will switch over to the Mercedes SUV, and drive it back up to Isla Vista.I will use it as one of my killing machines against my enemies. An SUV will cause a lot more damage than my BMW coupe. After I have killed all of the sorority girls at the Alpha Phi House, I will quickly get into the the SUV before the police arrive, assuming they would arrive within 3 minutes. I will then make my way to Del Playa, splattering as many of my enemies as I can with the SUV, and shooting anyone I don’t splatter. I can only imagine how sweet it will be to ram the SUV into all of those groups of popular young people who I’ve always witnessed walking right in the middle of the road as if they are better than everyone else.When they are writhing in pain, their bodies broken and dying after I splatter them, they will fully realize their crimes.
Once I reach Del Playa Street, I will dump the bag of severed heads I had saved from my previous victims, proclaiming to everyone how much I’ve made them all suffer. Once they see all of their friend’s heads roll onto the street, everyone will fear me as the powerful god I am. I will then start massacring everyone on Del Playa Street. I will pull up next to a house party and fire bullets at everyone partying on the front yard. I will specifically target the good looking people, and all of the couples. After I have destroyed a house party, I will continue down Del Playa, destroying everything and everyone. When I see the first police car come to their rescue, I will drive away as fast as I can, shooting and ramming anyone in my path until I find a suitable place to finally end my life.
To end my life, I will quickly swallow all of the Xanax and Vicodin pills I have left, along with an ample amount of hard liquor. Immediately after imbibing this mixture, I will shoot myself in the head with two of my handguns simultaneously. If the gunshots don’t kill me, the deadly drug mixture eventually will. I will not suffer being captured and sent to prison.
I must plan this very efficiently. Nothing can go wrong. It needs to be perfect. This is now my sole purpose on this world. My plans will come to fruition, and I mustn’t let anyone stop me.My Twisted World, page 132-133
So, as the Day of Retribution happened after he sent out this document, it doesn’t cover the massacre in it’s entirety. So, let’s break it down compared to the proposed Day.
- He ended up killing his Asian roommates, as well as a friend that was there with them. One of whom he stabbed 94 times. He didn’t dispose of the bodies, or make a torture chamber. The three boys died for nothing.
- After recording his infamous final video, he strolled up to Alpha Phi sorority, went up to the door, gun in hand, and retribution in mind, knocked on the door, and tried to force his way in, and was unsuccessful in his endeavor. As a consolation, he shot at 3 women, killing 2 girls and injuring 1 who were in the Tri-Delta sorority. None of them were “hot blondes” he so coveted. They were moderately attractive, in my view. They died for nothing.
- He never killed his kid brother or stepmother, since his father had come back from his business trip. Therefore, he never stole his father’s SUV.
- He shot into a local deli, killing one more person, who Elliot probably didn’t even know. He too, died for nothing.
- Elliot shot at 7 more people, grinning at some of them as he did so. All 7 survived the non-fatal shootings.
- Inevitably, the police arrived on the scene, and one of them shot Elliot in the hip. In this chase, Elliot ran down 7 people, one of whom landed on his windshield, caving it in. They all survived, albeit with injuries.
- Elliot crashed into a light pole, in all of the chaos. In a fit of desperation, he killed himself before the police reached his car. There were no severed heads, no sorority fire, no massacre of women or young couples on the streets of Isla Vista, no proclamation of godhood. Elliot killed 6 people, and the only 2 that he intended to kill from the start were his roommates. And even then, the purpose he killed them for was either completely forgotten, or he realized he couldn’t do such a thing.
I am not part of the human race. Humanity has rejected me. The females of the human species have never wanted to mate with me, so how could I possibly consider myself part of humanity? Humanity has never accepted me among them, and now I know why. I am more than human. I am superior to them all. I am Elliot Rodger… Magnificent, glorious, supreme, eminent… Divine! I am the closest thing there is to a living god. Humanity is a disgusting, depraved, and evil species. It is my purpose to punish them all. I will purify the world of everything that is wrong with it. On the Day of Retribution, I will truly be a powerful god, punishing everyone I deem to be impure and depraved.My Twisted World, page 135
So, after all this, what can we take away from Elliot Rodger?
Well, Elliot was an extremely petty moron. Anytime he saw someone, anyone who seemed better off than him, he would declare him his enemy, even if he didn’t know them at all! He saw a pair of men and women, and said, “THESE TWO HAVE TO BE A COUPLE! HOW DARE THEY!!! THEY ARE MY ENEMIES!“
He expected women to bow down to him, all because that he had good-looking clothes, got a haircut, and a BMW. Elliot’s downfall was his absolute lack of empathy. At no point, in this manifesto, does he detail himself of trying to be in someone else’s shoes. Even when he says that he saved his brother from drowning, he immediately says, “Everything he does in the future is because of ME!” and he laments that only a little girl saw his heroic feat.
What’s worse is, Elliot put no effort into trying to improve his social situation after Middle school. I love to think, that if he put that same amount of time, and same amount of effort into interacting with other people, instead of playing World of Warcraft, throwing tantrums, buying lottery tickets, ruining his friendships, maybe he would still be alive and kicking today, living a peaceful life, and not spread across the Atlantic.
We need to be better as human beings. We need to prevent more Elliot Rodgers before they begin. We need to help these mentally ill people, and diagnose and treat them before they hurt anyone else. Because if we don’t, then we could have another Day of Retribution on our hands, and this time, they could kill a lot more than 7 people.
Get off the computer, go outside, and meet people. Don’t whine about the “unfairness” of the world, especially since the world gave you so much.
Nobody is going to look back on Elliot’s life and think, “Oh wow, how badass!” They’re gonna see a tall child who fucked up 7 families’ lives forever and ever, to the point of no return. Anyone else who tries to commit a murder in this sad fuck’s name, show them the real Elliot Rodger. Make fun of the sad, narcissistic, worthless human being that is Elliot Rodger.
And by the way, Elliot… that little brother you wanted to kill? He was in a Netflix movie, and he’s way better looking than you’ll ever be, inside, and out.
Fuck Elliot Rodger.